Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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