sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
