why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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