Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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