Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
