This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
