hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
