I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize