she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
