Only a mothe r could love this liver
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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