Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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