Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize