i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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