I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
