why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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