"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
