Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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