I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
