I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
