I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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