If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We're too hungover to prance.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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