The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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