id be glad to
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
