i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
