I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize