i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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