very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
