OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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