he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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