lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
