Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
