even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
