going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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