he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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