I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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