she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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