I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later