singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
