So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
