My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
