she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
