Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
