if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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