If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
