belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
