Only a mothe r could love this liver
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
