she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
