Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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