sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
