thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
