you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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