I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
