I CAN MOONWALK!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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