He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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