Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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