Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
