i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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